Two Ted Kennedy jokes made up on the fly:

-Wow, it sure was hot the other night in DC. It was so hot, Ted Kennedy drove his car into a river just to cool off.

-The Senate released their financial records, today, and apparently, Ted Kennedy gets $2500 a month from renting out a parking space. Well yeah, what would he need a parking space for, his car is parked at the bottom of the river.



I'm saddened by the loss of President Reagan, but in a way, he was already long gone. I'm glad that so many people appreciated him so much that they waited for hours in the wee hours to see him, but I'm a bit upset that some of my own friends wouldn't. I guess it's a generational gap thing, so I can understand a bit, but it's puzzling. I guess if you remember the Eighties, Ronald Reagan was always like a wise grandfather who protected us. I know now that the next time I go to California, I'm going to be seeing a lot of graves, that's for sure.

Random thoughts:

-I don't care what VH1 and Blender says, Chicago's "You're My Inspiration" is a great song.

-Ice-T is going to produce a rap album for David Hasselhoff. That sound you hear is what's left of Ice-T's credibility being flushed down the toilet.

-I don't know if even the Germans would buy a David Hasselhoff rap album.

-The most mindboggling mystery in my life right now is: (cue David Ackroyd) Who is Little Kelly? Is she married? Does she have a boyfriend? Would she consider dating a younger man like me?

(Little Kelly, for those of you that don't know, is this super hot Asian chick at work. She's got to be one of the .02% of Asian women in the world that doesn't have a two-dimensional ass, and believe me, that's a plus.)

-Speaking of mysteries and hotties from work, what ever happened to Little Sis? Did she go the way of Helen? Will we ever see her again?

-The Anglican church is debating whether to allow Charles to marry Camilla, a divorcee. Pardon me, but doesn't the Anglican church owe its very existence to a desire for more freedom when it comes to divorce?

-If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: I'd take the brunette Bush twin over the blonde one any day of the week. (Yes, I know their names, but I simply feel wrong saying "Barbara Bush is hot.") Jenna comes off as a bit of a sowhority drunk. Barbara seems more of a dinner-and-a-movie type. Anyway, that's my two cents on that.

-CJ Carnacchio should really trademark the word "sowhority" like Pat Reilly trademarked the word "three-peat." He'd make a bundle of money, from me alone.

-So how many elbows to the head from Karl Malone will it take for Rasheed Wallace to wig out?

-Apparently, some Indian steel tycoon is blowing $55 million on his daughter's wedding, part of which will go to the cost of renting out the Palace of Versaille. Yes, he's renting out the Palace of Versaille. Yes, apparently, the palace that nearly bankrupted France with the costs of its construction and helped bring about the revolution, is available for weddings, and presumably for bar mitzvahs and proms too. Actually, probably not bar mitzvahs, considering the French hate Jews.

-If I had that much to spend on a wedding, I'd rent out Yankee Stadium, and hire the Love Unlimited Orchestra and Def Leppard to play for the reception. Actually, come to think of it, I wouldn't need that much money to get the Love Unlimited Orchestra and Def Leppard to pay at a wedding.

-Speaking of Indian weddings, you know how some people propose to their girlfriends at ball games over the jumbotron? Do you think in India, they announce arranged marriages over their equivalent of the jumbotron? Does the marriage broker go up there and announce it? Am I the only one who thinks that something like that would be hilarious?

-One day, if I ever get to own a baseball team, I'm going to hold Lame Intro Music Night. You know how the PA system plays music when players come up at bat? Well, I'm going to replace that music with really lame songs. Not inappropriate songs, like a Carpenters' song, but a song that may have been cool to use as intro music ten to fifteen years ago, but is totally lame today. The kind of song where if you heard it as intro music, you wouldn't be confused, but you'd start laughing your ass off. I was thinking that "The Final Countdown," "Everybody's Working for the Weekend," and "OPP" would HAVE to be included. Again, am I the only person who thinks that this would be absolutely hilarious?

People who know me well may get the impression that I possess a particular talent for holding grudges, or basically, "not letting things go." But really, what is a grudge, rather than a promise for revenge? And like all other promises that I make, I intend to keep any that involve making sure people get theirs, if that's the case. So to simply "let it go" would be dishonorable, as I'd be backing out of a promise, if to no one else but to myself. And that promise for vengeance will come, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. I maybe do the Christian thing and forgive, but I never forget.

Archer Maggot may be right: Vengeace is the Lord's to repay, but maybe He's using us as instruments of vengeance.