Yes yes, I know it's been a long time since the last post. There's a lot I've been wanting to cover, but just haven't gotten around to writing about.
- So everyone wanted to know whether or not I would go watch Rocky Balboa when it came out. I guess I was the local expert on all things Rocky. My official line, akin to John Kerry's "I voted for the war before I voted against it," was "Absolutely not, but I know I will," meaning, I don't want to, but I know I won't be able to resist. That being the official line, I went, and I'm not afraid to admit, I enjoyed it. My two biggest gripes about the movie is A) this movie should've been made at least ten years ago, and B) that kid playing Rocky's kid is an absolutely horrible actor. But this movie had to be made now, now that Sly was down on his luck, when he was making straight to video movies in between box office bombs. He was hungry, and maybe even a little desperate, just like he was when he wrote the original Rocky. Thinking about Rocky Balboa, I realized that what made the Rocky movies great were the training montages. If I recall correctly, Rocky V didn't have a training montage, and it's universally regarded as the Star Trek V of the franchise, which might be a bit cruel to Star Trek V. At least I don't think it had a training montage, but I refuse to go back and check. Here's a ranking of the Rocky movies by montage:
1) Rocky II: Forget the fact that Rocky was whipped, that he was stuck doing odd jobs while dressed like a guido, and forget that he was acting like he was half-retarded the entire movie, this film featured not one, but TWO great training montages, back to back. True, so did Rocky IV, but Rocky II's began with a lightning bolt, "well what are we waitin' fer!? Take us!" Also memorable for the last time "Going the Distance" was ever played in it's entirety in the series.
2) Rocky IV: Again, extra points for volume, with two montages, back to back. And as much as I love the appropriately named "Training Montage" and "Hearts on Fire," the montage(s) lose(s) points because A) my doubts about whether or not the training Rocky was going through would actually help him become a better fighter, and B) Rocky running up the Canadian Rockies, which I suppose is related to the first point. Nevertheless, "Training Montage" and "Hearts on Fire" are absolutely essential to a workout mix. Without those two, you can't call it a workout mix, it's just music you happen to exercise to.
3) Rocky I: The original, where Rocky runs all over Philadelphia. The montage by which all other montages in all movies are judged by. But unfortunately, there's just one instead of two.
4) Rocky Balboa: Good montage, and extra points for incorporating pieces of Maynard Ferguson's arrangement of "Gonna Fly Now" in the arrangement. If I first watched it in 1995, I would've liked it even better.
5) Rocky III: Apollo takes Rocky under his wing and takes him to LA so Rocky can win back his title. Let's just say, between Rocky's short shorts and half-shirt, and Rocky and Apollo's slow-motion man-hug on the beach, it was a bit...awkward. And yes, I suppose you can say that this was the second montage, on account of the "Pushin'" montage from the beginning, but I won't, because you can't train to a Frank Stallone song, and my point is proven when Rocky eats the mat against Clubber Lang right afterwards.
If you think about it, the character of Rocky Balboa might be one that can only be played by one actor. Out of all of Stallone's roles, I simply can't imagine anyone else playing him. I can imagine someone else playing Rambo, Marion Cobretti, or John Spartan, but not Rocky Balboa. It's appropriate, I suppose, considering Rocky is solely Stallone's creation. If there's any justice in the world, then we will have finally seen the end of the Rocky franchise. And I am forever grateful to Sylvester Stallone for having given it to us.
- Netflixed Dam Busters and 633 Squadron. I highly recommend both. Both films dealt with RAF squadrons training to hit one special target, and both have been acknowledged by George Lucas as inspirations for the final Death Star trench run in Star Wars. Dam Busters is the more realistic of the two, as it's actually based on real events and characters based on real people. It's also the more somber of the two. 633 Squadron has a more "swashbuckling" feel, which is definitely helped by Ron Goodwin's score. But I was a bit distracted by Cliff Robertson's presence in the movie, not that he's a bad actor, but he was glaringly American, leading a squadron of Commonwealth pilots. I spend half the movie wondering why an American would be leading an RAF squadron, or maybe it was one of those roles where no one bothers with accents, like Ed Harris in Enemy at the Gates, or Sean Connery in any movie he's in. (Halfway through the movie, I saw an Eagle Squadron patch on his shoulder. A layman would not have known what it was, and I still question why an American would still be leading an RAF squadron when the US was already in the war.)
- Three hangings in Iraq, and two of the three were downright amateurish. At first I questioned why there would be so few experienced hangmen in a country that had a goon like Saddam Hussein in charge for so long, but it turned out they used the short drop method, and not the long drop. But taunting Saddam on the scaffold, and recording the whole thing on a freaking camera phone, that's just disgraceful. And the guy's head popping off? Lazy. It turns out the guy had spinal cancer, and one of the things that has to be considered when setting the length of the drop is the condition of the man's neck. Even I knew that, and all I did was do some light reading while working out. Shame on them.
- New feature here on this blog, the Re-imagining. Ronald D. Moore "re-imagined" a hokey sci-fi series called "Battlestar Galactica" into one of the greatest shows on television, keeping just the basic premise and a few names. What other relatively hokey TV series' can be "re-imagined" into something better? In this installment, the "A-Team."
One thing that always bugged me about the premise of the "A-Team," other than the fact that it would be impossible for someone like Mr. T to remain inconspicuous and at large, was the fact that "the crime that they didn't commit," never appeared to be... criminal. Even as a seven year old, I knew that the US at one point had been at war with Vietnam, and questioned whether robbing the bank of an enemy nation during wartime can really be considered a crime. So they can bomb the Bank of Hanoi, but they can't rob it? And what did the army do when they caught the A-Team, give the money back to Vietnam, so they can buy more weapons? This was a leap in logic that not even a seven year old would make.
My re-imagining:
The year is 1995, and the West is horrified by the Rwandan genocide. Many around the world feel the US did not do enough to stop the killing, but to commit American troops to a tribal conflict in Africa with the Battle of Mogadishu so fresh on everyone's mind would be political suicide. Feeling that it must do something, anything, the NSA, on orders from the President, sends in three Army Delta Force operators, LTC John "Hannibal" Smith, 1Lt Templeton Peck, and Sgt. B.A. Baracus to go in and quietly assassinate a General Kwisi, a popular warlord they suspect of planning more bloodshed. They do so, but are captured by UN peacekeepers on their way out. The US disavows any knowledge, leaving the three of them hung out to dry. The promptly escape from a maximum security stockade. Today, still wanted by the government, and still wanting to clear their name, they live as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...the A-Team.
-LTC John "Hannibal" Smith: 52, Caucasian, 1st SFOD-D. The son of American missionaries, spending a significant portion of his youth growing up in Africa. A graduate of the Texas A&M ROTC program and the Army War College, and a veteran of Grenada, Beirut, Panama, and Desert Storm, Hannibal was called back into the field for this mission because of his knowledge of sub-Saharan Africa.
-1Lt Templeton Peck: 37, Caucasian, 1st SFOD-D. Despite growing up in an orphanage, is able to secure a place in West Point. A veteran of the Battle of Mogadishu, Peck is charming, but wouldn't hesitate for a second to kill if necessary. An expert marksman, he's the one who actually kills General Kwisi.
-Sgt. B. A. Baracus: 39, African-American, 1st SFOD-D. A veteran of the Battle of Mogadishu, he's been a Delta Force operative for six years.
- Capt. H. M. Murdock: 42, Causasian, 160th SOAR (A). Shot down over Mogadishu, he's rescued by a team lead by Peck. One of the best chopper pilots in the army, but discharged soon afterwards following a nervous breakdown and PTSD. He's hired to fly the team to their mission. Stays on to help them out of gratitude for saving his life.
The new series would be set in the year 2006, when the A-Team has been on the run for eleven years. And yes, they actually kill people. We can even add a subplot about how the Army is half-assing their pursuit of the A-Team because A) many of the higher ups suspect that they were set up, and B) the A-Team was eliminating many criminal elements that would've taken years and millions of dollars to legally prosecute.
Next time, I'll tackle the Six Million Dollar Man.
- So everyone wanted to know whether or not I would go watch Rocky Balboa when it came out. I guess I was the local expert on all things Rocky. My official line, akin to John Kerry's "I voted for the war before I voted against it," was "Absolutely not, but I know I will," meaning, I don't want to, but I know I won't be able to resist. That being the official line, I went, and I'm not afraid to admit, I enjoyed it. My two biggest gripes about the movie is A) this movie should've been made at least ten years ago, and B) that kid playing Rocky's kid is an absolutely horrible actor. But this movie had to be made now, now that Sly was down on his luck, when he was making straight to video movies in between box office bombs. He was hungry, and maybe even a little desperate, just like he was when he wrote the original Rocky. Thinking about Rocky Balboa, I realized that what made the Rocky movies great were the training montages. If I recall correctly, Rocky V didn't have a training montage, and it's universally regarded as the Star Trek V of the franchise, which might be a bit cruel to Star Trek V. At least I don't think it had a training montage, but I refuse to go back and check. Here's a ranking of the Rocky movies by montage:
1) Rocky II: Forget the fact that Rocky was whipped, that he was stuck doing odd jobs while dressed like a guido, and forget that he was acting like he was half-retarded the entire movie, this film featured not one, but TWO great training montages, back to back. True, so did Rocky IV, but Rocky II's began with a lightning bolt, "well what are we waitin' fer!? Take us!" Also memorable for the last time "Going the Distance" was ever played in it's entirety in the series.
2) Rocky IV: Again, extra points for volume, with two montages, back to back. And as much as I love the appropriately named "Training Montage" and "Hearts on Fire," the montage(s) lose(s) points because A) my doubts about whether or not the training Rocky was going through would actually help him become a better fighter, and B) Rocky running up the Canadian Rockies, which I suppose is related to the first point. Nevertheless, "Training Montage" and "Hearts on Fire" are absolutely essential to a workout mix. Without those two, you can't call it a workout mix, it's just music you happen to exercise to.
3) Rocky I: The original, where Rocky runs all over Philadelphia. The montage by which all other montages in all movies are judged by. But unfortunately, there's just one instead of two.
4) Rocky Balboa: Good montage, and extra points for incorporating pieces of Maynard Ferguson's arrangement of "Gonna Fly Now" in the arrangement. If I first watched it in 1995, I would've liked it even better.
5) Rocky III: Apollo takes Rocky under his wing and takes him to LA so Rocky can win back his title. Let's just say, between Rocky's short shorts and half-shirt, and Rocky and Apollo's slow-motion man-hug on the beach, it was a bit...awkward. And yes, I suppose you can say that this was the second montage, on account of the "Pushin'" montage from the beginning, but I won't, because you can't train to a Frank Stallone song, and my point is proven when Rocky eats the mat against Clubber Lang right afterwards.
If you think about it, the character of Rocky Balboa might be one that can only be played by one actor. Out of all of Stallone's roles, I simply can't imagine anyone else playing him. I can imagine someone else playing Rambo, Marion Cobretti, or John Spartan, but not Rocky Balboa. It's appropriate, I suppose, considering Rocky is solely Stallone's creation. If there's any justice in the world, then we will have finally seen the end of the Rocky franchise. And I am forever grateful to Sylvester Stallone for having given it to us.
- Netflixed Dam Busters and 633 Squadron. I highly recommend both. Both films dealt with RAF squadrons training to hit one special target, and both have been acknowledged by George Lucas as inspirations for the final Death Star trench run in Star Wars. Dam Busters is the more realistic of the two, as it's actually based on real events and characters based on real people. It's also the more somber of the two. 633 Squadron has a more "swashbuckling" feel, which is definitely helped by Ron Goodwin's score. But I was a bit distracted by Cliff Robertson's presence in the movie, not that he's a bad actor, but he was glaringly American, leading a squadron of Commonwealth pilots. I spend half the movie wondering why an American would be leading an RAF squadron, or maybe it was one of those roles where no one bothers with accents, like Ed Harris in Enemy at the Gates, or Sean Connery in any movie he's in. (Halfway through the movie, I saw an Eagle Squadron patch on his shoulder. A layman would not have known what it was, and I still question why an American would still be leading an RAF squadron when the US was already in the war.)
- Three hangings in Iraq, and two of the three were downright amateurish. At first I questioned why there would be so few experienced hangmen in a country that had a goon like Saddam Hussein in charge for so long, but it turned out they used the short drop method, and not the long drop. But taunting Saddam on the scaffold, and recording the whole thing on a freaking camera phone, that's just disgraceful. And the guy's head popping off? Lazy. It turns out the guy had spinal cancer, and one of the things that has to be considered when setting the length of the drop is the condition of the man's neck. Even I knew that, and all I did was do some light reading while working out. Shame on them.
- New feature here on this blog, the Re-imagining. Ronald D. Moore "re-imagined" a hokey sci-fi series called "Battlestar Galactica" into one of the greatest shows on television, keeping just the basic premise and a few names. What other relatively hokey TV series' can be "re-imagined" into something better? In this installment, the "A-Team."
One thing that always bugged me about the premise of the "A-Team," other than the fact that it would be impossible for someone like Mr. T to remain inconspicuous and at large, was the fact that "the crime that they didn't commit," never appeared to be... criminal. Even as a seven year old, I knew that the US at one point had been at war with Vietnam, and questioned whether robbing the bank of an enemy nation during wartime can really be considered a crime. So they can bomb the Bank of Hanoi, but they can't rob it? And what did the army do when they caught the A-Team, give the money back to Vietnam, so they can buy more weapons? This was a leap in logic that not even a seven year old would make.
My re-imagining:
The year is 1995, and the West is horrified by the Rwandan genocide. Many around the world feel the US did not do enough to stop the killing, but to commit American troops to a tribal conflict in Africa with the Battle of Mogadishu so fresh on everyone's mind would be political suicide. Feeling that it must do something, anything, the NSA, on orders from the President, sends in three Army Delta Force operators, LTC John "Hannibal" Smith, 1Lt Templeton Peck, and Sgt. B.A. Baracus to go in and quietly assassinate a General Kwisi, a popular warlord they suspect of planning more bloodshed. They do so, but are captured by UN peacekeepers on their way out. The US disavows any knowledge, leaving the three of them hung out to dry. The promptly escape from a maximum security stockade. Today, still wanted by the government, and still wanting to clear their name, they live as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...the A-Team.
-LTC John "Hannibal" Smith: 52, Caucasian, 1st SFOD-D. The son of American missionaries, spending a significant portion of his youth growing up in Africa. A graduate of the Texas A&M ROTC program and the Army War College, and a veteran of Grenada, Beirut, Panama, and Desert Storm, Hannibal was called back into the field for this mission because of his knowledge of sub-Saharan Africa.
-1Lt Templeton Peck: 37, Caucasian, 1st SFOD-D. Despite growing up in an orphanage, is able to secure a place in West Point. A veteran of the Battle of Mogadishu, Peck is charming, but wouldn't hesitate for a second to kill if necessary. An expert marksman, he's the one who actually kills General Kwisi.
-Sgt. B. A. Baracus: 39, African-American, 1st SFOD-D. A veteran of the Battle of Mogadishu, he's been a Delta Force operative for six years.
- Capt. H. M. Murdock: 42, Causasian, 160th SOAR (A). Shot down over Mogadishu, he's rescued by a team lead by Peck. One of the best chopper pilots in the army, but discharged soon afterwards following a nervous breakdown and PTSD. He's hired to fly the team to their mission. Stays on to help them out of gratitude for saving his life.
The new series would be set in the year 2006, when the A-Team has been on the run for eleven years. And yes, they actually kill people. We can even add a subplot about how the Army is half-assing their pursuit of the A-Team because A) many of the higher ups suspect that they were set up, and B) the A-Team was eliminating many criminal elements that would've taken years and millions of dollars to legally prosecute.
Next time, I'll tackle the Six Million Dollar Man.
posted by J. Yeh | 02:37
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