Warning: Non-nerds may want to stay away.
I'm a geek, a nerd, a dork, what have you. I have no problem fessing up to that. A lot of my friends are also geeks/nerds/dorks. In invariably, Star Trek comes up. Sometimes it's the usual debates (best captain, etc) but sometimes, it's downright creepy, like whether or not photon torpedos are guided (I say no), whether or not the Constitution-class refit has a rearward firing torpedo launcher (I argued that it had to have one) and what Valeris' rank was in Star Trek VI (The movie said Lieutenant.) Somewhere in between there, was the debate over what was the better Star Trek movie, II or VI. In my mind, there's no debate at all, The Wrath of Khan all the way.
The two films are easy to compare, both being directed by Nicholas Meyer, who brought along many literary allusions with his script. The two films are two of the best of the best movies with the original cast (IV was a bit preachy and cheesy, sorry.) But a hundred years from now, it'll be II standing.
Where do I begin?
- Plot: The Wrath of Khan (TWOK) followed up an episode from the original series. True, most of the original series kinda sucked, but they picked a gem. Undiscovered Country (UC) had a pulled-from-the-headlines plot with the space Soviets (the Klingons) making peace with the space Americans (the Federation.) But only one films featured ear slugs. Winner: TWOK.
- Casting: The original cast was the original cast, although they seemed a lot younger and fresher in TWOK, with Shatner in T.J Hooker mode and DeForest Kelley still able to pull off the disco doc look. Shatner looked puffy for UC, and Scotty looked like he wouldn't be able to work within a Jeffrey's tube without a stick of butter. And of course, who could forget the decision to put Uhura back in a mini-skirt after all these years (because that's what we all want to see, a woman in her sixties in a mini-skirt and go go boots.) Both had young Vulcan women, although Saavik was supposed to be Valeris in UC. TWOK was Kirstie Alley's first role, so we got to see her before she annoyed the hell out of us on Cheers and creeped us out with anything afte Cheers. UC somehow managed to make Kim Cattrell look less than smoking hot. UC should lose this round on that alone. UC gets some points for finally putting Sulu in his own ship though. Winner: TWOK
- Villains: Wow, where do I start. TWOK had Ricardo Monteban spouting lines from Moby Dick. UC had Christopher Plummer spouting lines from Hamlet. Both a both a bit annoying after awhile, but Khan came off ten times as menacing as Chang. (Chang? Aren't the Romulans supposed to be the space Red Chinese?) But I gotta hand it to Khan here. Khan had the raw hatred, the thirst for revenge, and best of all, that accent that just rocketed him to the top. Winner: TWOK
- Presentation and execution: Both films were directed by the same guy, so both had the same feel to it, although the shameless redresses of the TNG sets that UC used were a bit obvious. But then again, TWOK used a lot of sets and stock footage from Star Trek I. Winner: Push.
- Nitpicking and loose ends: The prefix code is only five digits? You can lower a starship's shield with a mere five digit code? Why don't the Klingons or the Romulans have programs that send out every single five digit combination right before battle? If it really does take that long to get the Enterprise's torpedo launcher working (with the lifting of the floor grates and such,) how does the Enterprise instantly fire a torpedo at that asteroid in Star Trek I? And how could they be accused of firing a torpedo in UC? Can't they just say, "that's impossible, the floor grates are in place?" True, but Enterprise-A may have a different torpedo firing system than the original refit, but that doesn't explain the circumstances of Star Trek I. How come the Reliant doesn't notice that the Ceti Alpha system has less planets than before? And as an overall nit, is McCoy the worst doctor ever? I have never ever seen him save anyone's life. In fact, this is a doctor who's most famous line is pronouncing a patient dead ("He's dead, Jim.")
- Intangibles: Which film is more quotable? TWOK by a landslide. I can't even say the word "Khan" in any context without wanting to shout it out like Kirk did. ("China was invaded by Genghis ...KHAAAAN!") It had the ear worms, which was probably the single creepiest thing ever introduced in a Star Trek movie. Both Shatner and Monteban were extremely hammy in their roles, but Shatner in UC was awful. ("Fire!" puulease...) Most people may have never seen it, but James Doohan had his greatest scenes ever, in the scene where his nephew died. And finally, TWOK had the death of Spock, one of the most riveting scenes of the entire series. ("I am, and shall aways be, your friend.")
In the end, it's TWOK all the way. Let's put it this way: this was the only Star Trek film mentioned in "I love the 70's/80's/90's."
I'm a geek, a nerd, a dork, what have you. I have no problem fessing up to that. A lot of my friends are also geeks/nerds/dorks. In invariably, Star Trek comes up. Sometimes it's the usual debates (best captain, etc) but sometimes, it's downright creepy, like whether or not photon torpedos are guided (I say no), whether or not the Constitution-class refit has a rearward firing torpedo launcher (I argued that it had to have one) and what Valeris' rank was in Star Trek VI (The movie said Lieutenant.) Somewhere in between there, was the debate over what was the better Star Trek movie, II or VI. In my mind, there's no debate at all, The Wrath of Khan all the way.
The two films are easy to compare, both being directed by Nicholas Meyer, who brought along many literary allusions with his script. The two films are two of the best of the best movies with the original cast (IV was a bit preachy and cheesy, sorry.) But a hundred years from now, it'll be II standing.
Where do I begin?
- Plot: The Wrath of Khan (TWOK) followed up an episode from the original series. True, most of the original series kinda sucked, but they picked a gem. Undiscovered Country (UC) had a pulled-from-the-headlines plot with the space Soviets (the Klingons) making peace with the space Americans (the Federation.) But only one films featured ear slugs. Winner: TWOK.
- Casting: The original cast was the original cast, although they seemed a lot younger and fresher in TWOK, with Shatner in T.J Hooker mode and DeForest Kelley still able to pull off the disco doc look. Shatner looked puffy for UC, and Scotty looked like he wouldn't be able to work within a Jeffrey's tube without a stick of butter. And of course, who could forget the decision to put Uhura back in a mini-skirt after all these years (because that's what we all want to see, a woman in her sixties in a mini-skirt and go go boots.) Both had young Vulcan women, although Saavik was supposed to be Valeris in UC. TWOK was Kirstie Alley's first role, so we got to see her before she annoyed the hell out of us on Cheers and creeped us out with anything afte Cheers. UC somehow managed to make Kim Cattrell look less than smoking hot. UC should lose this round on that alone. UC gets some points for finally putting Sulu in his own ship though. Winner: TWOK
- Villains: Wow, where do I start. TWOK had Ricardo Monteban spouting lines from Moby Dick. UC had Christopher Plummer spouting lines from Hamlet. Both a both a bit annoying after awhile, but Khan came off ten times as menacing as Chang. (Chang? Aren't the Romulans supposed to be the space Red Chinese?) But I gotta hand it to Khan here. Khan had the raw hatred, the thirst for revenge, and best of all, that accent that just rocketed him to the top. Winner: TWOK
- Presentation and execution: Both films were directed by the same guy, so both had the same feel to it, although the shameless redresses of the TNG sets that UC used were a bit obvious. But then again, TWOK used a lot of sets and stock footage from Star Trek I. Winner: Push.
- Nitpicking and loose ends: The prefix code is only five digits? You can lower a starship's shield with a mere five digit code? Why don't the Klingons or the Romulans have programs that send out every single five digit combination right before battle? If it really does take that long to get the Enterprise's torpedo launcher working (with the lifting of the floor grates and such,) how does the Enterprise instantly fire a torpedo at that asteroid in Star Trek I? And how could they be accused of firing a torpedo in UC? Can't they just say, "that's impossible, the floor grates are in place?" True, but Enterprise-A may have a different torpedo firing system than the original refit, but that doesn't explain the circumstances of Star Trek I. How come the Reliant doesn't notice that the Ceti Alpha system has less planets than before? And as an overall nit, is McCoy the worst doctor ever? I have never ever seen him save anyone's life. In fact, this is a doctor who's most famous line is pronouncing a patient dead ("He's dead, Jim.")
- Intangibles: Which film is more quotable? TWOK by a landslide. I can't even say the word "Khan" in any context without wanting to shout it out like Kirk did. ("China was invaded by Genghis ...KHAAAAN!") It had the ear worms, which was probably the single creepiest thing ever introduced in a Star Trek movie. Both Shatner and Monteban were extremely hammy in their roles, but Shatner in UC was awful. ("Fire!" puulease...) Most people may have never seen it, but James Doohan had his greatest scenes ever, in the scene where his nephew died. And finally, TWOK had the death of Spock, one of the most riveting scenes of the entire series. ("I am, and shall aways be, your friend.")
In the end, it's TWOK all the way. Let's put it this way: this was the only Star Trek film mentioned in "I love the 70's/80's/90's
posted by J. Yeh | 13:23
1 Comments:
Ruben Ruben Ruben,
Of course there's a "guidence system," they need some programming to go straight and level and such. But they don't "seek."
- In more than countless times, the captain orders a "spread of torpedoes." A spread. Not multiple, but spread. They're launching multiple torpedoes in multiple directions in hopes of hitting the target. Underwater torpedoes were fired in a spread in hopes of hitting the target before they were guided. When the sinking of the Admiral Belgrano during the Falklands War, the HMS Conqueror fired a spread of three unguided torpedoes, with the hope that at least two would hit. Two did hit.
- Until UC, you never see a torpedo change direction, and you never have since.
- At the end of First Contact, when all Data launches torpedoes against the Phoenix, they all miss. Not one of them maneuvers.
- Of course it'd be easy to guide them. You would think that with the coldness of space, even the slightest heat source would be an inviting target. But if they could use heat sensors, then why can't they find cloaked ships? They still have to emit heat, don't they? Active and semi-active radar homing would work as well. But there's no evidence that torpedoes are guided once they leave the tube. I agree, they should be guided, but what makes sense isn't necessarily so in the Star Trek universe. For instance, I was certain that the Constitution-class refit would have a rearward firing torpedo launcher. After consulting Ryan's blueprints, I saw that I was wrong. (Yes, Ryan owns starship blueprints. Yet somehow, he gets more ass than a toiletseat.)
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